I’ve noticed that alcohol changes people. I hate to state the obvious, but I will take it further: People have alter-egos that only show themselves when drunk.

Amit’s drunken alter-ego is a man that makes his mistakes. For example, hypothetically pimping on a less-than-desirable girl that ends up peeing and puking in Waller Creek. Yeah, I agree with you… Her alter-ego is Swamp Thing.  Every man makes his mistakes in life, so I will just leave it at that… and this picture of that hypothetical night.

Shaleen consistently has enough alcohol in his body, that he is legally drunk all the time, so that’s why we see no change in him. When Mat gets drunk, he becomes an asshole that goes around telling people assholish things in a manner as if he is the hole of an ass. 

Rishi’s drunken identity is actually the closest to a super-hero, because he will just disappear and when asked where he went, he will be evasive in his answer. I have personally seen him go into a bathroom and come back out threw the front door… in ripped clothes. He’s probably a real-life superman.  The thing is, its established what his “kryptonite” is: The Sun. I guess that discredits his reputation though, cause how unmanly is that? Being scared of the sun and getting too dark? Hiding in shadows so he doesn't tan? Actually, Rishi is synonymous with Shady. Dang, I’m brilliant… Rishi is a super-Villain! He's Lurking in the shadows! You know there’s been a moment or two (per day), when you look at him and you know he’s up to no good… Just giggling to himself for no apparent reason, then sliding up his glasses as if its his trademark. Look out for more proof and get back to me.

That was a little off topic, let me get back. So yeah, I’m just so friggin’ awesome, that when drunk, it’s just emphasized to the point where I have legions of fans swarming around me, sometimes just to ask me to mention them in my web journal (Sharon).  Craziness you say? That’s just the life I live. My "Drunken" nickname is "Pimpin' Made Easy."

Oh I almost forgot… THOMAS... hehe, yeah, when he drinks it up, he breaks out into song and dance, but then for some reason accumulates a lot of saliva. One such night, after celebrating his new job at Towers-Perrin (congrats Thomas, but I had my job lined up like a year ago), he went ahead and named his alter-ego “Funtommy.” Lucky for him, here at Azhar’s Office Hours (AOH), we have a copy of his next music video. Enjoy (it will probably be easier to right click and save it then watch it). Look for it on TRL. And look for me in the middle of big crowds of hot women.

P.S. post a comment if you want me to put a picture of Rishi as a villain. If i get comments from at least 10 different people, I'll see what I can do

Shoot. Where has all this love come from? Do you like the video? Have I made Anil a superstar? Superstar? Can't be Mat, cause you can't even see the dark mutherfocker?! That was him without a tan, too? At night, you can't see when he's around unless he opens his eyes or his mouth? And his name only has one "T", W-T-F is that? Is it Krishna? I've heard people are enamored by him? But he's not featured too much, and is his nose crooked? And that freaky laugh ain't sexy, right?? So its gotta be Anil and his tyrannosaurus rex fingers, huh?

No... Wait... I'm trippin'...some hot chicks just told me as they were getting out of my bed... its cause ya'll thought I was going to be in the video clip. My mistake. I'll work on that... We'll see, the problem with me being in a movie, is that I might as well be the only actor in it. I make average people look straight ugly. And, its not like you would look away from me anyway. Not to boast, the fact of the matter is I'm hot butter on your breakfast toast. It's hot like that. It's hot like that. It's hot like that.

The NCAA men's Bball championship is on tonight. I think, not including any games that I play in, that this is going to be the best college game of the year.  Along with being incredible and badass in everything, basketball is one of my passions.  Sometimes, no matter the time or day, i'll need to play. On one fateful night in October of 2003, I had a craving. Three of my biggest fans had gone to the gym that Saturday to practice. They didnt want to embarass me when i stepped on the court with them. So, I let them go early, then I called them up to show them how its done. They told me they were at the Brackenridge Emergency Room.  A short recreation of events was filmed based on witness testimoney. Just recently I obtained the "Director's Cut" and so I'm putting it on my webspace if you want to see it. (Click on "Director's Cut", It should play in internet explorer).

P.S. Anil has been diagnosed as a habitual side-ways-peace-sign-thrower. Look at the evidence. Don't let it happen to you.

Alex : An internet diary used so that people can live vicariously through a person cooler than themselves.

BZZZ – What is Azhar’s blog?

Alex: Correct!

 

I guess I shouldn’t hate on the fans of the site.  The thing is, I don’t believe there is a lot of overall demand for new posts, just a lot of demand from select people who appreciated the little bit of effort I put forth between yawning and deciding its worthwhile to stare at myself in the mirror.  The reason is, only a few people message me or talk to me with any sort of feedback.

 Though incredibly attractive to women, and envied by men everywhere, I do good deeds from time to time. Ya know, to keep myself humble.  The other day, I saw a professor struggling to carry a bunch of books. A door was ahead of her, so I opened it for her. She went through the door, and on with her business before I raised the pitch in my voice and exclaimed “Motherfucker!”  No acknowledgement of any kind. What, you expect me to open the door for you? This ain’t the Hilton, and you ain’t Paris. Common courtesy, people. In an era of communication breakthroughs, don’t be that bitch of a teacher, at least give me a nod or a smile.

 

There are even different things you can do on the actual blog that aren’t utilized. There’s a voting thing (on the left) in which feedback can be given, but there are only two votes. And under any of my entries, people can quickly post comments, there are only 3 total. If I’m wrong, correct me. Let me know something. (I know anything you say will not be funny in comparison to my own words, but that’s already established, so its ok.) In the meantime, to all my dedicated fans, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in more than a month, and ya’ll have seemed to check multiple times a week unsatisfied, but do remember… some people do have lives.

 

There is a lot I can get into in this post, but I suppose I will spread out my thoughts. I’ll end this entry with shout outs. I want to give it up for your mama. Hehehe, I’m sorry, I’ll get off your mom… then finish this story…all kidding aside, special recognition needs to be given to a select group of people. Baby-Mamas. That’s right. If you haven’t heard the song by Fantasia Barrino (last year’s American idol winner), it hits all the strongest points. I agree, in this day and age, it is a badge of honor… to be a baby mama. Along with baby mamas, I need to thank Rishi, for spreading his appreciation of the song, baby mamas, and Fantasia.  Word on the street is that he has a crush on Ms. Barrino.  I could go on about all the different things that I like about the song, but if you listen to it just once… you’ll know. And don’t be afraid to pull a Rishi and dance every time you hear it.

There is a challenge I have to anybody reading, to make up for that teacher. If you see me on campus this month, I want you to say “Azhar, I wish I was your baby-mama!” Loud enough for me and at least one other person (a witness) to hear it.  If you do, there is a strong chance that you could be recognized in a future web journal entry.  This will be a true test of this site’s fan-base. If you don’t know what I look like, I look like brad pitt except not over the hill. Yeah, so picture that, then make him a minority and then you’ll know how to find me.

Do you like comics? (hint: its a link... its pdf so you can zoom in easily)

 

P.S. Rishi, you better make me your best man after that.

P.P.S. I know it may be out of date, but this is the product I use to spit my hot fiyah. Word, Homey.

Yeah, so i looked at the usuage stats for this blog. In that last 30 days, 898 people have viewed these very words. That means, Azhar = popular bitch. I didnt even know i knew 900 people.

I am taking  a class called "Economics of Corporate Finance". Its taught by this guy named Subir Bose. Everytime i am in class, i think of this song i hear on the radio from time to time called "Like A Boss" by a guy named Slim Thug. During the course of the song, the hook sounds much like "LIKE A BOSE!" So, yes, while in class i picture our indian professor of small stature, who usually wears collar shirts, slacks, and dressy shoes that Shaleen would own, in the middle of a music video dropping bills like they don't got no Net Present Value. If you are completely lost, download the song and picture a prof dancing to it.

               

So we just played our first IM bball game tonight. People say its not whether you win or lose, its just important to have fun. Well, those people are stupid. It sucks to lose, and I dont know how anybody could have had fun tonight. Unless you were on the other team. I dont think you can blame me, i hustled, hit some of my shots, and made the most of my minutes, I even tried to take out a guy on the other team. When you are down by 50, i say f--- sportsmanship. Yeah, so we basically got our a$$es handed to us. Then to make things worse, after the game, 4 guys that looked like b2k, came out and said "you suckas got served!" That's right, I lost in something... but as a team, I dont see this happening next week. No way... not even a possiblility... we are going to win.

So you're interested in me? Yeah, i guess i could use some more love in my life.  And i'm not that picky... But i do have some standards... let me see, first off she has to be female...born and raised… taller than 5'3" feet tall… more than 101 lbs… two eyes… two ears… one nose… teeth, more than 15… no more than ten fingers… no less than ten… thumbs are fingers… does not like cheating on me… just two thumbs though… sense of humor… outgoing… wants my body… likes movies… isn’t opposed to drinking… does not like cheating on me… at the very least, isn’t opposed to me drinking… nice breasts… are a plus… are always a plus… eats food at moderate amounts… nice smile… intelligent… enjoys hanging out… does not like cheating on me… generally has low expectations, so that I can meet and exceed them… eighteen or older… unless she is a really, really hot seventeen year old… liking sports is a plus… must like some sort of music… if she were to cheat on me, that would be the end of her… preferably, no children of her own… ok, maybe not her end, but I might get depressed… also, can't have children of others...prefers hugging me than shaking my hand… prefers various other things than hugging me…  never been convicted of any crime involving animals, unless nonsexual and completely accidental… able to read… literacy is a plague that must be combated… likes to flirt… with me only… braces are ok, but only on her teeth… also, without the headpiece… owns more than one color underwear… relaxed… somewhat funny… not shy… not to be confused with innocent… innocent is ok… with a bad side… not bald… likes junk food from time to time… shaves… when not wearing pants… likes to laugh… is not anti-social and has at least 3 friends that are not related to her… did I mention, I would become enraged with jealousy if she were to cheat on me, but would probably just curl up like a fetus and listen to “Jimmy eat World” songs?... the scent of her should make me sing "I swear" by All-4-one in my head… would never have any need to call me up and tell me that she and I had been invited to be on ‘Jerry Springer’… If not "I swear", then anything when Michael Jackson was black… does not have brothers that wish to protect her… protection through unnecessary violence carried out on me…  when I say more than one color, I do not mean that each under garment must be multicolored… cannot be allergic to rubber… cause sometimes I wear rubber bands… what were you thinking?...

you know some people have AIM rep.  Like, some people have an AIM rep of having a bunch of screen names. Others for having pimp screen names. There are idle people, people who spend too much time on their away messages, and the ever-annoying continuous signoff-signon people(if your internet connection sucks, you don't deserve to be on my buddy list).  Regardless of your AIMrep, you gotta maintain or improve. That's how all of life is. 

Today,in the middle of the morning, i was walking to my next class and i saw this girl i know. Of course she knew me, so she wanted to talk and "hang". I had to get to class just in case the prof needed help (don't need too many people to come to my office hours). So she asked me if i was avoiding her. Please. Then she said i was never online. Please. As i was walking away, i said i was on all the time. She responded, "you probably blocked me!" I dont know why she had to put me on blast like that. It was in public and stuff, so people were like "oh snap, he blocked her!" That didnt bother me, cause i dont know them. But then she said, "N-D-N FORMER, right?" Everybody knows thats the hot-ish, so people were jotting it down. But it didnt do wonders for my aim rep.  So for people reading, just believe all those rumors where i am doing ridiculously awesome things.

hey everybody, its been awhile.  lots have happened and i've been having a lot of fun this past week. Too bad you aren't me.